Well, you’d think the political circus in the US would have no competitor, but I think I found one.
I mentioned a week or so ago that I was going to make credit cards available for people who wanted to become members or make purchase in the (currently broken) Bloomin’ Store. Everything went smoothly, I filled out TONS of paperwork, sent ccBill a THOUSAND DOLLARS for the privilege of being charged a percentage of future sales, and (after some prodding) FINALLY got approved yesterday. I spent some time trying to set things up when, at the end of the day, I received the following email from ccBill:
“Subject: Merchant Account Deactivation ######”
“Dear Jaycee,
“Hello, My name is Elayne and I am a Merchant Compliance Analyst with CCBill. Your website was recently submitted to our acquiring bank for Visa and MasterCard registration. Unfortunately, once our bank reviewed your website it was determined that your business model is not compliant with their current regulations.
“Due to the unacceptable business model, we were advised that your account must be deactivated. Please understand this decision is final; however, you may contact us with any questions you feel are appropriate.
“*Please note, we have processed a refund on the payment you have made in the amount of $1000USD for card brand registration. You can expect to see the refund credited back within 7 to 10 business days.
“I truly apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Thank you in advance for your time.”
Bear in mind ccBill provides payment solutions to porn sites all over the world! Bloomin’ Faeries! is extremely tame compared to most of these sites, which offer far more graphic content than I do. So I was curious and wrote back:
“After this lengthy validation process, I’m somewhat puzzled by this sudden reversal. Would you mind being more specific as to what component of my business model is not compliant with your bank’s regulations? It seems to me my model and content are not particular unique.”
I got this wonderful response very quickly (at least they’re responsive):
“Thank you for your reply. It appears that your website references non-human/mythical entities such as faeries and wizards. It is a violation of Visa regulations to reference and/or depict non-human/mythical entities anywhere on the website. Unfortunately, we are unable to proceed with your account for this reason.”
I had to laugh out loud. Faeries and wizards, really?! (I wonder how Visa feels about Disney properties…) I couldn’t help write back (with some not-so-subtle sarcasm, I must admit):
“That… is about as hilarious and ludicrous a restriction as I’ve ever heard. It sounds pretty random and arbitrary. Is there anywhere where I can read up more on these far-fetched restrictions? I might have other project in the works and it might be useful to know what invisible walls lay in the fog of your bank’s whimsy.”
Their answer (this time, from Denis S., copied to a certain Ashton Banker):
“I apologize for the inconveniences you have experienced. Unfortunately, we are unable to provide you with a list of violations/restrictions due to the magnitude and complicated nature of the card brand regulations and rules. If you have any concerns or websites that you would like us to look at, you may certainly ask our merchant compliance team at compliance@ccbill.com .”
I concluded the matter thusly:
“It’s no trouble or inconvenience, to be honest. I was kind of experiencing buyer’s remorse, so the deactivation was a bit of a relief. Still, I’m sure you can imagine I’ll be sharing this with my audience and we’ll certainly have a good laugh at Visa’s (and, a little bit, your) expense. In a news week (heck, MONTH) filled with political absurdities, this sets a new bar that I think is hard to beat.
“With regards to future projects, there’s nothing out yet and I’d rather not invest the time and effort when there are random & senseless rules out there that no one seems to know clearly. I’ll just stick to your competitors.”
And it’s true, I was kind of doubting my decision to rely on credit cards (no one really seems to care nowadays), so to get back my $1,000 is a good thing. And I was contemplating using that account for other (non-adult) projects, but that last answer was the nail in that coffin. In a world of cut-and-paste, invoking “the magnitude and complicated nature of the card brand regulation and rules” is a weak cop out at best. I’m very confident this is the best outcome for me or my site(s), but at the same time, this was too good NOT to share it with you all.
This is what we do, here: we bring comedy and smiles in your dreary days. And the occasional erection. Because we care. 🙂
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
24 thoughts on “UPDATE: Why No Credit Cards”
Gary Phillips
I agree that is a ridiculous reason, I think what they wanted to say is “we don’t think you have enough porn to make a ton of money so we can get a ton of money off the fees.”
Brandon Dunneman
That was my immediate suspicion as well. It could also be a combination of the non-human porn aspect, because faeries, but wizards? That’s still a person. So yeah, leaning towards the site isn’t making enough for them to overlook a small detail in their massive TOS.
Jaycee
I’m not buying it either, but at this point, I think their ridiculous position has been clearly demonstrated. My work here is done.
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
Random Guy
I could honestly argue that their policy is a form of religious discrimination. You should file a complaint with whatever banking oversight organization is in power over your area, maybe the Securities and Exchanges Commission.
Jaycee
I don’t think it’s really worth it. I glad to get the money back, I wasn’t sure about this over the first place, and I don’t have the kind of money it takes to initiate this kind of litigation. Plus, I’m Canadian, so this would probably be an international case.
So, not really worth the trouble.
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
Gary Phillips
Doesn’t PayPal business have something that lets your clients use credit cards?
Victor St Cyr
Paypal is very no no on adult content.
Superpanda
Well our course of action is clear. Gotta remove all the fairies and wizards in the comic obviously.
Jaycee
Obviously.
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
Superpanda
I look forward to the next page of Blooming human/non-mythicalentities.
Meachy
Blooming Winged Things and What Not. Just doesn’t have the same ring.
And it’s weird a talking pumpkin with a giant caterpillar living on top of its head, seeking to become the most powerful thing on the Earth, and definitely falls under adult content can sell t-shirts and hats online that can be purchased with a credit card yet that little bit of fantasy seems to be fine.
Mike
I suspect it’s due to websites claiming to sell real magic spells / djinn lamps / etc. I bet the credit card companies decided it was just easier to avoid any website remotely like that rather than deal with all the demands for a refund.
hkmaly
I don’t think the condition is real. There seem to be plenty of online shops selling magic the gathering cards, for example, and those are not only ABOUT wizards, they are even FROM The wizards of the coast! Or do all of those not take credit cards?
Gallstone
…….
All I can say is: “At least you got your money back.”
Other words just fail me. *shakes head*
Phraught
Holy spumoni – that’s just nutz. Glad it all worked out though.
nezumi
Wait, this has to be a fake comedy story. Right?
Jaycee
Sadly, it’s 100% true.
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
Lurker
So… does Visa also prohibit Lord Of The Rings merchandise?
Jaycee
That is an excellent question.
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
Travan
I guess the distinction is that Lord of the Rings is fictional.
… What?
Oberon
This is hilarious. Except for your assertion that they have as customers “porn sites all over the world” I’d have expected this to be a religious restriction, similar to the religious uproar over Harry Potter and other works of pure fiction that entice so many innocent children into lives of Satanism by being a gateway drug to a Ouija board. Or something. Definitely something.
Arklytte
Nope Oberon, it’s absolutely true. Just off the top of my head I can think of a couple of pr0n sites that use ccBill (Chaturbate and MyFreeCams both use them for people who want to buy tokens…I know this for…reasons).
I agree Visa’s position is ludicrous though.
Jaycee
Yeah, it’s puzzling and highly suspicious. Definitely boggles my mind considering all of the hardcore sites (real or illustrated) I’ve seen who use their services. It’s no skin off my back because I doubt I would have recouped the $1k investment, like, EVER, but it’s just one of those highly irrational things that push my buttons.
But hey, I live with faeries, I should be used to irrational by now.
(I’m going to pay for that comment, I just know it…)
–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”
fadsf
You could try something like Square. I don’t think they have adult restrictions, so that shouldn’t be an issue. They have an API for e-commerce here: https://squareup.com/help/us/en/article/3853-square-s-e-commerce-api-faqs