Looks like Brooke isn’t as clueless as I thought she was.
You may remember that Mandy and I had somehow convinced her she was really a woman who’d gotten hypnotized into thinking she used to be a man. Well, last week, she finally confronted me with what she knew to be the truth.
“Jaycee, man,” she started. “Y’know that time, when you gave me that story about being hypnotized and all that?”
“Yeah,” I continued, “I remember. Sorry we could never find the hypnotist to get that stuff out of your head…”
She laughed. “Right. Well about that, I think I’ve been playing dumb around you two long enough. I know the real story. I really used to be a man, and now I’m not one anymore.”
It was my turn to laugh, though I knew it wasn’t very convincing. “Right. Next, you’re going to tell me you’re a transexual?”
“No, man, nothing like that. I’m a full woman, with the right plumbing and all. Believe me, Roseanne has totally checked every bit of me, and I’m the real deal.”
I held up my hand. “Dude, I don’t know if I want to hear those kind of details!” (And actually, I sorta did…) “So what is it, then?”
“Magic!” She dropped it on me like it was a bomb or something.
I paused. “You know how crazy that sounds?”
“Not much crazier than me using a certain orgasmic keyword around Mandy, back when she was a stripper, and now having that same keyword send me off! Not much crazier than me getting all melty and gooey any time a guy flirts with me — no matter how repulsive he is! And certainly not much crazier than me knowing way more about pleasing a woman as a guy than pleasing a man as a woman. Hypnotists don’t put that kind of shit in your head. That doesn’t make any sense.”
I gave Brooke a long look. After all this time, I have to admit the memory of her as a guy was pretty faint, and I found myself appreciating her curves a bit more than I knew I should.
“So, magic, then?” I asked, hoping to avoid giving her an explanation.
“Magic,” she repeated. “And don’t pretend you don’t know what’s going on. It’s pretty clear to me that you do.”
“Well, what do you THINK is going on?”
Brooke sighed. It was uncanny how her body language was much more feminine now than six months ago. “Jaycee, I think you’ve got some magic powers and you’ve transformed me into… this.”
I just sat there, not sure what to say next.
“And hey, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind it, not one bit. Dude, once you get past not having a wang, or that one week of the month, being a chick totally ROCKS! And being a chick who’s into chicks — that’s Howard Stern’s wet dream!”
“So, you’re not upset?”
“No way!” She shook her head with an emphasis that made her chest perform an interesting sideways jiggle (yeah, braless again!). “So, you a witch or something?”
“Witches are women, Brooke. The men, they’re called warlocks.”
“Got it. So, Warlord Jaycee…”
“Warlock, not Warlord,” I corrected.
“War-LOCK Jaycee! So, what else can you do?”
Well, that went on for a bit, and to make a long story short, it looks like Brooke now thinks I have magical powers, but that those powers only work when I use them for my own benefits. (I threw that bit as a last-second save in to avoid having to grant her wishes and stuff.) So while this makes me come off as petty and vengeful, it also ensures Brooke keeps her (sexy) mouth shut, lest I turn her into a toad or something. (I may have hinted at that, yes…)
So bow to me, mortals! There’s a new power in town, and its name is Warlock Jaycee!
–Jaycee
11 thoughts on “Smarter Than She Looks…”
Winghunter
…Do I even have to mention the million-and-one ways this can go wrong for you?
south of sanity
oooooooooh dear. this isn’t going to turn out well… won’t attitude get upset at you stealing her limelight?
south of sanity
also… time for the obligatory monty python reference
“We found a warlock may we burn him?”
“how do you knoooow he is a warlock?”
“Well, HE turned me into a woman!”
“….”
“i got better…”
Lunaroki
LMAO! Awesome! Jaycee, you may just get the hang of this fairy nonsense yet. Letting her decide for herself that you were a warlock and then playing along with it was just brilliant! Of course it’s going to cause all sorts of hilarity, but it sounds like you’ve kind of covered the most obvious bases, so I guess we’ll see how this turns out for you. All hail Master Warlock Jaycee! =D
chad
this has truble writein all over it
Jones
lmao warlock Jaycee XD
Jakob
In hindsight, the hypnosis excuse was pretty flimsy to begin with. After all, all Brook would have to do find out the truth is call his/her parents(My guess is that’s exactly what Brook did).
The warlock thing works better, but happens if say, one of Brooks parents dies and she asks you if you can turn her into man again to go to the funeral and see the family?
What is her current relationship with her family?
Sorry, i’m probably looking too much into it. :p
Jaycee
Jakob, you’re not AT ALL reading too much into it. I feel kind of silly that none of this hit me before, but yeah, the hypnosis thing was very weak. As for Brooke’s parents and family, they live in Europe, so that’s out of the way (they don’t talk much). But it really doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Brooke couldn’t believe that story for very long.
And as for the warlock thing, I think (for now) Brooke has a healthy “fear” of what I could do if she tried to get me to use it for her benefit, so I’m hoping this holds long enough for me to figure out another way out of this.
–Jaycee
Jaycee
Hey, wouldja lookit dat! I’m re-reading myself, and just noticed I referred to Brooke as “she,” not “he…”
Guess I *am* getting used to the chick version of my old wingman. Which makes me wonder how she’d be as a wingman if we went clubbing…
–Jaycee
Eric
probably not very helpful since all it would take one person to flirt w/ *her* and *she
*’s gone LOL
Jaycee
Damn, that IS a bloody good point. 🙁
–Jaycee