Mandy’s Diary

Hi,

My name is Mandy. I used to be Jaycee’s girlfriend, several years ago. Now, we’re just friends. It hasn’t been long since Jaycee told me about faeries, and now I understand a lot more what happened to me. That little faerie Attitude has had a devastating effect on both our lives. At Jaycee’s behest, I’m including here some pages from the diary I kept before and during my Sexual Years. Those are only excerpts, but what’s included has not been altered in any way. I sometimes add some comments between brackets (“[…]”) if I feel I must editorialize on the content itself.

I hope some of these pages provide you with some insight into the sexual hell that took over my life between 2005 and 2010.

Latest entries:

• January 17, 2005
• January 9, 2005
• January 4, 2005

January 17, 2005

Today’s Monday. Even though it’s winter, it’s raining outside. It’s very depressing. All the snow is melting, including the silly snowman Jaycee and I made on Saturday. Maybe it’s fitting. We had some kind of fight yesterday. I really wanted to come over, but he insisted it wasn’t the right time. When I insisted, he got very weird and defensive, and said he had visitors and had to… entertain them. There was something odd in the way he paused when he said it, and I got very suspicious. And then I thought I heard some faint giggling on the other end, and I got insecure. There was a girl with him and he was trying to hide it. Which HAS to mean it was someone he didn’t want me to know about.

That’s no good for me. I’ve had my fill of players and two-timers, and I’m not going to put up with another one. So I told him if he EVER wanted to see me again, he should call me. The subtext was clear: confess, apologize, and come crawling.

But that was yesterday morning, and we’re now Monday afternoon.

Why isn’t he calling?

[By now, I’m sure it’s clear to you, as it is to me, that there was some faerie trouble brewing at home. But of course, at the time, he couldn’t tell me about that.]

January 9, 2005

*SIGH*

I’m going back to work tomorrow, and I really don’t want to. Jaycee and I just spent the most amazing week together. He rented a little condo up North, not far from the La Slope Ski Resort. We had a fantastic view of the slope and the little rustic town below, about 2-3 miles away. We spent all of our time… Maybe I should start from the beginning.

When he called me on Tuesday, it was to invite me to go skiing with him for the rest of his vacations (which were ending today). I didn’t know where because he said it was a surprise. All I had to do was to pack my things, bring warm clothes, and everything else was taken care of. When I said “When?” he answered by ringing at my door. “Now,” he said, and laughed.

So I packed threw everything I needed into a big luggage and we were off. We drove up there in his car (a nice little blue Cooper that he calls Nano) and got there pretty late at night (around 10PM, I think). We didn’t go to bed right away. There was this very large therapeutic bath (big enough for the two of us, and even a third person), and we played with the water jets and fooled around for a bit. He couldn’t keep his hands off me, and I didn’t see a reason why he should, either.

On Wednesday, we got up early, had breakfast, and took off to go ski. I have to confess, it was a bit of a disaster. I’m not a very good skier, but he was much, much worse. After a few hours of watching him spend more time on his stomach than on his feet, we took a break for lunch. Then, in the afternoon, we walked around in the woods, threw snowballs at each other, and did angels in the snow. (Hey, there will be NO MOCKING of the classics in MY journal!)

And at night, there was some sex. Some GOOD sex. And only a LITTLE sleep.

Thursday, we went skating. Jaycee’s actually pretty good on skates, but I’m not. So it was the other way around and we had a good time making fun of each other’s flaws. And again, the day flew by in a flurry of laughter, silliness, and great chemistry between us. We ended up spending the evening with dozens of other fellow skiers, in the lounge, telling funny stories to each other until it was pretty late and we were pretty drunk.

Friday all day, we took snowboarding lessons together. I’d never done it, and neither had Jaycee. We knew we’d be pretty pathetic about it, and I can confirm now that we were right. We had a great time, but in all honesty, we both spent a LOT of time on our backs or smashing face first into the snow. And I know when you snowboard, you’re supposed to slide with your board parallel to the slope, but all we did was keep our board perpendicular (that’s what you do to stop). We probably plowed more snow DOWN the slope than what was falling from the sky. (Yeah, you probably heard on the news that there was a big snow storm over there on Friday night. It was okay during the day, but a night, WOW! What a storm.) This time again, we spent the evening in the lounge, partying with the rest of the skiers we made friends with. (I make friends easy, what can I say.)

[I didn’t notice it at the time, but Jaycee wasn’t quite enjoying being with all these people as I was. It wasn’t a problem at the time, but that would something that would eventually become a bigger issue.]

And Saturday, we decided to take it easy. We hadn’t had much sex in the last 48 hours, and it was kind of a tacit agreement that we wouldn’t go out much on that day. So we slept in, then had breakfast, which we didn’t end up finishing. There was impromptu sex on the kitchen counter, then against the bedroom door, then finally in bed. We took a break, fooled around in the bath, then tried to get dressed to go outside (that failed). We tried watching some TV, and that didn’t last long either. It looked like everything we either said or did led to the same thing — hot animal sex. Sometimes, I don’t quite recognize myself. It normally takes me a bit more time to get revved up, but when I’m with him, I just get these instant shivers and I melt like I’m made of hot butter.

On Saturday night, we had dinner in the condo, and then went out for a walk. On a whim, Jaycee got us onto a horse carriage ride that took us down the Village and back to the Ski Resort after a few hours. We had some port and chocolate with us, which we enjoyed in secret. And since we were both huddled under a thick blanket, we allowed our hands to fool around a bit, but nobody could see that. I think maybe the carriage driver suspected, but he didn’t say anything.

And that takes us to this morning, Journal. When it was time to pack, I didn’t really want to. I didn’t even realize it was Sunday already, and we had to get back to work. But that was it, and we had to go back home.

So WHAT A WEEK! And what’s more, it was fun, and effortless to be with him. It wasn’t like I had to pretend to be someone I’m not — I could be as open and extroverted as I wanted, and it didn’t feel like I was being judged. So it was a GOOD week.

Can’t wait to see what comes up next…

[That was probably one of the most exciting weeks I’ve ever spent with someone. It wasn’t that we did anything crazy — I’ve done MUCH crazier things with other guys — but we had such chemistry together that every time something new would come up, it was like he knew what I was thinking, and laughed at my jokes even before I made them. That’s a rare thing. And I know this with much more clarity today than I did at the time.

I really wish I could rewrite some of the bits of history that are to come…]

January 4, 2005

I was expecting a call from Jaycee all day yesterday and today, but he didn’t call. And of course, I’m not going to call first. I’d love to, but I really shouldn’t. We’ve just had sex, and it’s always the guy who calls me back after sex. You know the rules just like I do, Journal: every time I’ve called back too quickly, I’ve regretted it. Think about Mitch, and later Dean, and more recently, Brooke. No way I’m going to let that happen with Jaycee. They’re always more faithful when they have to chase me.

I’m thinking about writing an email, maybe. What do you think? Or just sending him a text. Or a sext? No, I shouldn’t do that, I think. If I was going to sext, I should have done it yesterday. At least if I listen to Dalene, that’s not a day-after-the-day-after option. She says you sext the next day to keep the heat up, or you text the day after to let him know what you’re up to during the day. Kind of throwing a line, but not putting yourself out there.

I really had a great time and I really like this guy. If you MUST know, I’ve been fantasizing about him since Saturday. It’s a little hard to believe I could get THAT excited over a guy. He’s not sexy like the guys I normally go for. They tend to be slicker that that. He’s really a bit geeky, but not too much. He’s got a good sense of humor and he’s not afraid to make fun of me. In fact, that’s probably what I like the most about him. He teases me every chance he gets.

Phone ringing! Gotta run!

January 2, 2005

Yesterday, I invited myself to Jaycee’s place to celebrate the New Year in style. I told him I was going to cook for him, and so I did. I arrived at his place around 6PM, loaded with groceries, all ready to cook one of my favorite recipes: Asian grilled chicken. Yes, Journal, it’s THAT recipe. The one I did for Brooke two years ago… I know, I know, I’m doing a pattern thing, but Jaycee is as different from him as anyone could be. It’s about the person, anyway, not the recipe. So shush, let me finish my story!

Dinner was great. Jaycee threw some innuendos about what he thought was going to happen after dinner, but I played the angel act, feigning not to understand what he was talking about. Of course something was going to happen, but I wasn’t going to make it that easy for him (regardless of the fact that I REALLY wanted something to happen too — but no need to share that with him, right?). And right before dessert, I slipped away (“Gotta go powder my nose or something,” I said, not even pretending to keep up the act). I came back, wearing nothing but a frilly red apron with “Love Thy Cook” written in white letters. I came in carrying two pieces of cake, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. His eyes were fixed on my cleavage, which I’d pushed up so it looked like it was going to burst out of the top of the apron.

I put the cake down and posed for his viewing pleasure. He was pleased all right. And by now, knowing what was coming up, I was feeling pretty warm and tingly myself. Like, REAL tingly. As I watched him, I felt myself getting increasingly wet, more than I normally am. His eyes slowly went down from my boobs to my stomach, and to where the apron ended and revealed my thighs. I knew he couldn’t see anything, but it felt like his gaze was drilling into my pussy. I knew what he was thinking, and I was pretty much thinking the same thing…

DAMN! I was REALLY wet. Just writing about it, I can’t believe it–I’m getting horny again.

Okay. Sorry, I’m back. Just had to get some relief in the bathroom… Anyway, back to the story: I asked him what he thought of my cooking skills. He said something, I don’t exactly remember what. His voice echoed inside my pussy and reverberated against my clit. I was so wet I think he could see my juices leaking down the inside of my thighs. There was a heat in my crotch that I couldn’t contain. I shifted my weight, trying to look calm and in control (and feeling quite the opposite).

He said something else–I think it ended with a question mark. I honestly don’t remember. At the sound of his voice, I moaned. I was really revved up, but I wanted him to make the first move. Except that he wasn’t. DAMN his shyness! I didn’t know how long I could last, and anyway, we both knew where this was headed. I untied the apron from behind my neck and let the top of it fall down, revealing my boobs. I have great boobs! If THAT didn’t get him on top of me under 3 seconds, I didn’t know what else could.

And fortunately, that did the trick. Jaycee suddenly seemed to click and stepped toward me. He slipped his hands around me and drew me into his embrace. We kissed. I got even wetter, if that’s possible. I could tell he was headed into the foreplay zone, but that’s not what I was looking for. I wanted action. Thick, fast, mindless action. And I wanted it NOW. So I pushed him away and kept pushing him back until he fell onto the living room couch.

And then… Well, you KNOW what happened. It happened for a whole hour and I KNOW you were able to hear everything from the top drawer of my night table. So don’t make me say (or write) it.

That was good. VERY good. Mandy happy. 🙂

[You’ll eventually notice that I wasn’t very detailed in my sexual descriptions at that time. Nor was the language as coarse and crude as I’d eventually use. That was going to change a few months later, after the events with Brooke. But I’m getting ahead of myself, here. And speaking of Brooke, that’s the rub — I had gone out with him a few years earlier, but I’d never met or heard about Jaycee before. It was pure coincidence (to me) that they were best friends. It wouldn’t be until February that I’d discover their relationship, and things would then take a turn for the worse. But more on this later…]

Dec 30, 2004

Hey Journal! The gumbo worked its magic again. I think I may have pushed things a little with Jaycee and given him a case of blue balls. I thought about giving it up for him, but a small part of me wanted to hold on to the pre-sex thing for a little while longer. It’s the part of the relationship I like best, where you think about each other with butterflies in your stomach, where seeing a photo or hearing his voice just makes me feel all giddy and stuff. So I told him I wanted to wait just a little bit more — ’till next year (which is in 2 days). Like a true gentleman, he obliged.

We DID make out pretty bad, though. Some hands strayed off the righteous path, but nothing too excessive.

Before he left, I’ve marked a little exclamation point on my calendar under “January 1, 2005.” I think he got the message…

Dec 28, 2004

Jaycee and I have been talking on the phone a lot, but because of the holidays and time spent with our families, we haven’t had a chance to see each other much. But he’s coming over at my place for dinner tomorrow. I’m going to cook him my legendary gumbo. It’s a traditional family recipe, and guaranteed to kill you or make you stronger!

[I don’t know WHICH of the ingredient in that gumbo has that special effect, but I know from personal experience that men get real turned on when they have it. But then, maybe it’s also my lucky push-up bra that I always wear when cooking it that helps. ;)]

Dec 22, 2004

I was half-dreading the date with Jaycee tonight. After 4-5 days just building up my expectations, I was worried he wouldn’t measure up. But it was a great night. He picked me up at my place at 7 PM and we went for sushi. I go crazy for sushi. Seriously, I sometimes think I’ve got some mental disease about raw fish. I just can’t get enough of it.

We went to this place where he knows the sushi chef, so we got to eat at the bar, and I was fed things that aren’t normally on the menu. Things like natto (I THINK that’s the right spelling). It’s like eating blue cheese, but worse. And it was mixed in with this fish sashimi and almond-tasting leaves whose name I don’t remember. Anyway, pretty strong stuff. The chef was very proud to say that that thing was like Japanese viagra or something. “For real?” I asked. They both laughed and bumped fists. “Wouldn’t YOU like to know!” they mocked me.

Damn. Now I want to know. I googled it, but found nothing to confirm that.

We had a great time. We went walking in the park late at night, chatted for an hour or so. It was chilly so we snuggled. We made out a little. Not sure if it was the natto, but I can tell he likes me. 😀

Dec 18, 2004

It’s now 2:35 AM and I just got home. I met this great guy, Jaycee something. I don’t know what Jaycee stands for, and I don’t care. He’s a bit slimmer and geekier than the guys I normally date, but he’s got a great sense of humor. He knows a lot, has a knack for tech stuff, and really isn’t afraid of giving me a hard time because I’m blonde. I like that kind of self-confidence in a guy.

We’re getting together again on Wednesday. He says he’s going to call me on Monday to confirm.

[He didn’t call on Monday. He called on Tuesday, very late at night. I was supposed to go out with my flatmate Cassie on Tuesday, but bailed out, pretending I had “things to do” instead. I don’t think she bought it, but she didn’t say a thing and went out anyway with other friends. Me, I just sat by the phone like a big loser!]