Living Large

You may recall that a few weeks back, our “dear” friend Attitude saw it fit to reward some of my writing with a perpetual (and rather large) erection.

You’ll be glad (or sad? or indifferent?) to hear that it’s still here, and it’s somewhat wreaking havoc on my personal life.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever given this some thought, but how DO you live a normal life under those conditions? Allow me to describe a few of the finer points of living “large,” so to speak:

• You need big, baggy pants and loose shirts
• You start wearing outlandish hats to draw the attention away from your lower parts
• You wear equally exotic shades, partly for distraction, partly for anonymity
• You go to work VERY early and leave after everybody else
• You prefer to sit at your desk at work instead of standing up
• You shop online and have your groceries delivered at home
• You carry your suitcase or backpack in FRONT on you when boarding a packed subway
• You sleep on your side because anything else is VERY uncomfortable

I’m sure some of our female readers out there wonder what is the impact of this condition on my sex life, both on my own and with partners. I can’t talk about what happens with partners (I’ve been VERY good on that front), but I can speak to the solo part (I haven’t been so good there). I find myself… recharging… much, much faster. I do get a bit of reprieve after those moments, but that is short lived: minutes later, i’m back to my former, rigid self, rearing to go once more.

So it’s been about three weeks, now, and I’m wondering if there’s going to be an end to this soon. It’s very unpleasant, I can promise you that.

And of course, as usual, Attitude has nothing to offer but scathingly mocking comments.

–Jaycee