Dirty Lil’ Spells

Just saw a thread of comments that dove pretty deep into Pathfinder and d20 stuff. Any players out there have some dirty/naughty/sexy spells they know of and would like to share the stats with the rest of us? I thought it’d be kinda fun to have a semi-official Bloomin’ Faeries! Spellbook.

Feel free to create some new ones too, if you want.

–Jaycee
“I’m doing it.”

9 thoughts on “Dirty Lil’ Spells

  1. You’ve read the Book of Erotic Fantasy for D&D right?

    1. Kinda. It rings a bell, but if I recall, it was fairly dry and mechanical, and not all that sexy or entertaining to read. I’m looking for something livelier and more mischievous.

      –Jaycee

  2. Bigbys vibrating/molesting hand.

    1. Stats + funny description would be fun. 🙂

      –Jaycee
      “I’m doing it.”

  3. I remember some simple uses for very common spells.
    While Mage Hand can’t be used to do fine manipulation, a hand-sized 5-pound of repetitive force can be quite helpful as far as magically enticing someone.
    Of course, there’s the Unseen Servant’s dirtier cousin, Unseen Lover. And their imaginary-yet-oh-so-sublime Phantasmal Lover.
    Share Sensation is often used both as a sex aid (“THIS is how it feels”) and for voyeuristic purposes. (“I wish I was there”)
    Animate Image is great for all those old porn mags that were laying around.

  4. Those are really cool, thanks!

    –Jaycee
    “I’m doing it.”

  5. oh shit i know one but im going to have a link to it… one moment. if you ever heard of dnd you should know about he deck of many things. a while back there was an alternate version called the deck of many flings. how it works is you draw from the deck a number of cards then it disappears. whatever cards come up have their effect happen immediately. here is what happens with each card.

    Deck of Many Flings

    Balance – Changes the character’s sexual habits (the chaste become promiscuous, vice versa)
    Comet – If the character’s next orgasm occurs during a meteor shower, gain a level.
    Donjon – Don Johnson appears. Let fate take it’s course.
    Euryale – Causes a permanent penalty on all saving throws vs. disease
    Fates – The Fates arrive and they are ready to party. When the party ends, they divine your next sexual encounter.
    Flames – It’s as bad as you think it is. You’ll need to see a cleric no lower than 14th-level.
    Fool – A spectral prostitute appears, seduces you, and takes all of your gold.
    Gem – A wealthy patron offers to trade you immense wealth for a single favor. A sexy favor.
    Idiot – The character’s Intelligence score is permanently lowered and you forget how to have sex.
    Jester – The opposite sex finds you hilarious. This does not guarantee sexual encounters but it does give the character a +4 bonus on all Charisma-based checks.
    Key – No chastity belt is safe from your charms.
    Knight – A handsome knight appears to love you, valorously.
    Moon – You now like big butts and you cannot lie (about that).
    Rogue – An NPC friend will attempt to seduce the characters lover.
    Ruin – The Terrasque appears and is ready to get it in there. Run.
    Skull – Undead creatures love you. LOOOOOOVE you.
    Star – You are transported to the Midnight Glade. The Fey King Winter is here. Seduce him and gain a level.
    Sun – You are transported to the Marital Meadow. The Fey Queen of Summer is here. Do it up, Tiger and gain a level.
    Talons – DICK TALONSSSSSSSSSSSS. DICK TALONS!
    Throne – The characters Charisma increases by 4 points and they now own a high-class bordello in a capital city. Nothing trashy. All classy.
    Vizier – The character learns the secrets to satisfying any lovers deepest desire and is immune to all sexually transmitted diseases.
    The Void – You no longer derive any pleasure from sex.

    1. Ooh, I love it. Must’ve been a deck made by faeries!

      –Jaycee
      “I’m doing it.”

  6. Complete Temptress… Slayers Guide to Nymphs…

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