Uh-hmm. A tribe with abstinent views gets five faeries pestering it at the same time. … So the faeries of this universe -are- just in it to mess people about, aren’t they?
That’s not entirely true… In this particular case, it’s because Aelves live in groves, often nearby beautiful ponds, which Faeries like a lot. Also, Aelves are superb wine-makers, which is also something that attracts Faeries. Combine both, as well as the Aelves’ natural aversion to sex, and you have a major faerie-magnet situation.
Aelves are probably gay anyway…why else do you think that any kind of elves are always described as a “dying race” in Fantasy fiction and RPGs?
Speaking of RPGs, maybe someone should write a Bloomin Faeries MMO?
Jaycee
Oh, the Aelves really aren’t gay. If you’ve ever met gay guys, they rather like sex a LOT! (I once was at a gay party, the only straight guy in the place, almost — I don’t think I’ve ever been at a party that talked about sex this much!) Aelves are just… well… disdainful of sex.
As for a BF MMO, I’m not sure about that… I think it’d take the “magic” out of it. Maybe an RPG? But only for couples… Y’know: head-to-head gameplay. 😉
–Jaycee
south of sanity
They actually already have that kind of thing. seriously. I think there were several. As I recall, there were several RPG books in fact. They were called the book of erotic fantasy, nymphology, and The Complete Guide To Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
After reading it, well…. it was interesting to find out that dragons can literally screw rock and that zombies are just right out as one entry said. Also? unicorns REALLY like to get it on.
Jaycee
I remember checking out the CGUCK last year. There were a few things that had good ideas in it, but somehow it felt too clinical and not titillating enough…
Maybe, instead of an RPG, there should be a CCG. You play situation cards on your human, then spells that are compatible with that situation. And when your human has reached a certain level of humiliation, you win! 🙂
You say “not ENTIRELY”. Dare I assume that the joy of pranking/punking is at least mixed in with the other attracting factors?
Jaycee
Well, they certainly DO seem to enjoy the pranking/punking part, that’s for sure. But I’m no faerie, so who knows what ELSE goes in in their little devious heads…
–Jaycee
Gallstone
It occurs to me that a certain amount of disregard for the kind of morals we humans tend to accept must play a part. They’re attracted to the same environment as the Aelves and they like their licquor, and that’s fine. But the only reasons I can see for the faeries to then start hitting the Aelves with every sex-hex they can come up with are… less than nobly motivated.
#1: “Hey, these guys dislike sex! Let’s see if we can’t make them change their minds.”
#2: “Hey, these guys dislike sex! Let’s hit them with every sex-hex we have so they will…”
#2.1: Leave this pristine wilderness area so we can settle in ourselves.
#2.2: Leave this pristine wilderness area so we can settle in ourselves and steal their booze.
#2.3: Try to bribe us into leaving them alone, preferably with their booze.
#3: “Hey, these guys dislike sex and they’re giving us the stink-eye. Let’s teach them some respect for faerie magic.”
#4: “Hey, I wonder how long these Aelves can keep being serene and aloof if we hit them with every prank we can think of.”
And of course, there’s the every popular
#5: “Hey, people! I wonder how much fun we can have if we do THIS…”
Of course, I’m probably overthinking this. ^^
Jaycee
I’m not going to try and answer the specifics, because I frankly don’t understand everything that motivates faeries, but I’m not sure they’re THAT driven by alcohol. Or at least by a desire to PROCURE alcohol. I’m also not convinced they’re trying to change anyone’s mind about their sexual preferences. If I had to bet some money, I’d probably go for Theory #5, with a dash Theory #2 and #4… Heck, perhaps a little of everything is true…
If they’re immortal, as most derivatives of Tolkien’s elves are, then it would make perfect sense that sex is rather…infrequent, at least from a reproductive standpoint. Imagine how overcrowded we’d be now if every human who EVER died from old age or illness instead lived on and had all the kids they could manage? o.O Of course, we’re dumb enough we’d probably just have extra wars to even everything out.
Man, that sorceress chick doesn’t know what she’s getting into. She’s going to end up naked faster than someone who just spilled pesticide on themselves calling poison control.
If she’s an expert at getting rid of certain winged pests who shall remain nameless, she may be prepared. A few incantations of spell turning or immutable robes, perhaps? Or she might know ways of diverting faeries’ attention away from herself.
If you’ll forgive the shameless plug, there might be fragments of answers to these interrogations in the Members Area (where PortalComic are illustrating this new character’s interventions… 🙂 ).
22 thoughts on “#51: Bearer of Bad News”
Jayessell
Magic Skype!
Dang! I wanted to see how the prince was doing.
Yahtzee
Devastated ? She sure is going to be, Mr Wizard. But not really the way you meant … ^^
adamas
OH yes simply devastated, you can hear her crying about it right now.
Jaycee
Well, one man’s devastation is another woman’s mind-blowing orgasms… 😉
–Jaycee
boing
HUHUHUHUHUHU.
reminds me of an ape, gorilla or whatever primate makes that sound.
Gallstone
Uh-hmm. A tribe with abstinent views gets five faeries pestering it at the same time. … So the faeries of this universe -are- just in it to mess people about, aren’t they?
Jaycee
That’s not entirely true… In this particular case, it’s because Aelves live in groves, often nearby beautiful ponds, which Faeries like a lot. Also, Aelves are superb wine-makers, which is also something that attracts Faeries. Combine both, as well as the Aelves’ natural aversion to sex, and you have a major faerie-magnet situation.
–Jaycee
Elfguy
Aelves are probably gay anyway…why else do you think that any kind of elves are always described as a “dying race” in Fantasy fiction and RPGs?
Speaking of RPGs, maybe someone should write a Bloomin Faeries MMO?
Jaycee
Oh, the Aelves really aren’t gay. If you’ve ever met gay guys, they rather like sex a LOT! (I once was at a gay party, the only straight guy in the place, almost — I don’t think I’ve ever been at a party that talked about sex this much!) Aelves are just… well… disdainful of sex.
As for a BF MMO, I’m not sure about that… I think it’d take the “magic” out of it. Maybe an RPG? But only for couples… Y’know: head-to-head gameplay. 😉
–Jaycee
south of sanity
They actually already have that kind of thing. seriously. I think there were several. As I recall, there were several RPG books in fact. They were called the book of erotic fantasy, nymphology, and The Complete Guide To Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
After reading it, well…. it was interesting to find out that dragons can literally screw rock and that zombies are just right out as one entry said. Also? unicorns REALLY like to get it on.
Jaycee
I remember checking out the CGUCK last year. There were a few things that had good ideas in it, but somehow it felt too clinical and not titillating enough…
Maybe, instead of an RPG, there should be a CCG. You play situation cards on your human, then spells that are compatible with that situation. And when your human has reached a certain level of humiliation, you win! 🙂
I’d play that… 😀
–Jaycee
Gallstone
You say “not ENTIRELY”. Dare I assume that the joy of pranking/punking is at least mixed in with the other attracting factors?
Jaycee
Well, they certainly DO seem to enjoy the pranking/punking part, that’s for sure. But I’m no faerie, so who knows what ELSE goes in in their little devious heads…
–Jaycee
Gallstone
It occurs to me that a certain amount of disregard for the kind of morals we humans tend to accept must play a part. They’re attracted to the same environment as the Aelves and they like their licquor, and that’s fine. But the only reasons I can see for the faeries to then start hitting the Aelves with every sex-hex they can come up with are… less than nobly motivated.
#1: “Hey, these guys dislike sex! Let’s see if we can’t make them change their minds.”
#2: “Hey, these guys dislike sex! Let’s hit them with every sex-hex we have so they will…”
#2.1: Leave this pristine wilderness area so we can settle in ourselves.
#2.2: Leave this pristine wilderness area so we can settle in ourselves and steal their booze.
#2.3: Try to bribe us into leaving them alone, preferably with their booze.
#3: “Hey, these guys dislike sex and they’re giving us the stink-eye. Let’s teach them some respect for faerie magic.”
#4: “Hey, I wonder how long these Aelves can keep being serene and aloof if we hit them with every prank we can think of.”
And of course, there’s the every popular
#5: “Hey, people! I wonder how much fun we can have if we do THIS…”
Of course, I’m probably overthinking this. ^^
Jaycee
I’m not going to try and answer the specifics, because I frankly don’t understand everything that motivates faeries, but I’m not sure they’re THAT driven by alcohol. Or at least by a desire to PROCURE alcohol. I’m also not convinced they’re trying to change anyone’s mind about their sexual preferences. If I had to bet some money, I’d probably go for Theory #5, with a dash Theory #2 and #4… Heck, perhaps a little of everything is true…
–Jaycee
Andar_b
If they’re immortal, as most derivatives of Tolkien’s elves are, then it would make perfect sense that sex is rather…infrequent, at least from a reproductive standpoint. Imagine how overcrowded we’d be now if every human who EVER died from old age or illness instead lived on and had all the kids they could manage? o.O Of course, we’re dumb enough we’d probably just have extra wars to even everything out.
reaver
So we are going to get some Asian BE in future strips?
Rodrigo
That’s the mage’s friend that is an expert in faeries, eh? Nice to see the cast … expanding… more.
Jaycee
Right. That character has been seen for a bit in the Members Area. (Sorry, couldn’t resist the cheap plug… 🙂 )
–Jaycee
Quodod
Man, that sorceress chick doesn’t know what she’s getting into. She’s going to end up naked faster than someone who just spilled pesticide on themselves calling poison control.
Gallstone
If she’s an expert at getting rid of certain winged pests who shall remain nameless, she may be prepared. A few incantations of spell turning or immutable robes, perhaps? Or she might know ways of diverting faeries’ attention away from herself.
Jaycee
If you’ll forgive the shameless plug, there might be fragments of answers to these interrogations in the Members Area (where PortalComic are illustrating this new character’s interventions… 🙂 ).
–Jaycee