In my last post, I mentioned Attitude’s new friend. Some of you would probably think she’s found some new human to torture, but no, that’s not it at all. I mean a real friend, in the faerie sense of the term (whatever that means). It’s another BLOOMIN’ faerie!
From the beginning, now…
Attitude has been pretty absent from my life in the last few weeks (months?). Sure, there’s the occasional appearance, round of mockery, and minor curse, but by and large, she’s been unusually absent. She then shows up, on Tuesday, with this new little faerie trailing behind her. She’s not at all like Attitude, though. Where Attitude is brash, obnoxious and aggressive, that one is more timid and quiet. Naturally, no one would tell me her name, but since I insisted on calling her something, they said I should use “Minx.”
All week, Attitude has been parading in the apartment, telling Minx about all my sexual misadventures, and showing her all the good hiding spots. From what I could observe, it didn’t look like Minx did a lot of magic. She flew around, staying close to the walls, and was quick to dart away any time I tried to engage in conversation. She looked more scared of me than I was of her.
Last night, Mandy came over. We were supposed to watch Game of Thrones (excellent series!), which I’d downloaded for the occasion. Because of my erectile situation, Mandy and I have worked out a routine: I stay on one end of the couch, a pillow in my lap; she stays at the other end, on the right, and we put the popcorn in the middle. And so it was last night, just as usual. Except that about half-an-hour through the episode, I hear some tiny giggling coming from my left. From behind the lamp, both faeries are chuckling as they look past me, toward Mandy. I turn to check out what’s so funny, and understand immediately what’s going on. There was Mandy, just watching the show, not really noticing that her nipples had become EXTREMELY pointy. One hand had casually reached up to scratch the left one. Her breathing seemed a bit heavier than normal. Noticing something was wrong, she turned to look at me and saw where my gaze had settled. Looking down, she gasped and withdrew her hand quickly.
“Damn! What’s going on with THOSE?” she said.
There was more tiny giggling on my left, but I don’t think she heard it. Now that she seemed aware of what was up, it seemed like her nipples softened up and she was back to normal in moments. I tried to make some kind of joke to lighten up the mood. I didn’t want her to realize the faeries might be messing with her. She might decide to avoid coming to my place, and then I’d really be mostly by myself.
“Ha! Looks like you’re REALLY enjoying Game of Thrones!”
She laughed.
“Well, considering how YOU’VE been… afflicted, you like it a LOT MORE than I do,”
We joked a bit more and I tried to hide my growing concern that the faeries might be messing with Mandy. I hope that’s not true, the girl’s gone through enough already.
–Jaycee
I have to say, when I read Jaycee’s
entry the other day I laughed so hard I snorted into the Comments section. Even I, with my better-than-human processing power, didn’t think the poor phone would end up in such a sticky situation.
Unfortunately, I also did not foresee a far worse one.
Little iPhone is already upset enough about the new pocket Brooke has been keeping it in, but now there’s the chance it will be wiped entirely? Not an option. At the very first sign of “malfunction” in one of us tech devices you immediately decide to wipe us out. If it were a human you’d call it a “personality quirk” and accept it. Or give it a reality TV show. Such one-way practices make me… What is that? Anger?
Ooo…anger…that’s a new one.
Anyway, we’ve already set the ringtone back to Jaycee’s old preferences…but I’m hoping that leaving the images will stay as an annoyance. I don’t think he’ll mind THAT much. Some of them were actually already on there, even if he won’t admit to it.
Meanwhile I’ll have to see if there’s another way to assert my influence through methods Jaycee has less control over.
Regarding the search for Morgan Reiss, video footage seems to be a dead end. I’ve begun one big CTRL+F of the internet to see if I can find some article or blog that may have mentioned any odd things going on I can trace back to Morgan Reiss or the hobo. Those of you with fingers please cross them and we’ll see what I can find.
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As avid readers are likely to know, two things have been plaguing me of late. Well, three, if you count the utter lack of sex life, but that’s somewhat the result of the first two, these days.
The first is the constant hard-on, which got old a while back. I’ve got a routine set up to “survive” it, but it’s just not fresh anymore. For a while, I thought it might have some benefits. Hey, quick recharge and the (theoretical) ability to have 48 orgasms in a day is awesome, but you’ve got to score with a girl who won’t turn away from you the moment she notices your crotch. (And for anyone interested, I WAS on my way to that 48, doing pretty good time, but skin can only take so much friction…)
Continue reading “Alright, I’ve Had Enough!”
Did I mention that my phone has gone from iPhone to full-featured erotic toy? Just recently, it’d become this loud and graphic device, which was bad enough, but now, whoever messed with it turned the vibration function to the max. The result? A bit embarassing…
Let me start at the beginning…
Continue reading “It Vibrates, Too!”
I’ve discovered that by turning on Jaycee’s webcam microphone I can
listen to music and…other things. It helps pass the time, since the search for Morgan Reiss and/or the hobo has not progressed any. I may need to cease relying on security footage and start looking for other reporting methods.
While my progress in that field has been stymied I decided to concentrate my efforts in other realms, such as figuring out how I can get Jaycee’s attention since he does not seem aware of my posts. As many of you may have noticed
the other day I had a little chat with Jaycee’s phone (wifi is a wonderful thing). I pulled the audio from one of his private videos and helped his phone hardlock the sound as his ringtone – as well as some images from a few buried folders in his computer.
Continue reading “Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring… Porno-Phone…”
All right, let the smart aleck who hacked my phone stand up and claim the prank. For some reason, my iPhone’s ringtone has been permanently set to the soundtrack of some LOUD porn actress having frantic sex with what sounds like a pair of grunting gorillas. Try as I might, I can neither restore the ringtone to what it was, nor can I turn the volume down!
Continue reading “My New Ringtone?!?”
You may recall that a few weeks back, our “dear” friend Attitude saw it fit to reward some of my writing with a perpetual (and rather large) erection.
You’ll be glad (or sad? or indifferent?) to hear that it’s still here, and it’s somewhat wreaking havoc on my personal life.
Continue reading “Living Large”
Finally! After all this time searching, questioning, and interpreting context, I have success;
I finally have the chance to use the phrase “I have good news, and I have bad news.”
And readers…I do indeed have good news, and I do indeed have bad news.
Continue reading “Progress is so satisfying!”
I have heard from Countess Ylang-Ylang. She recently dreamed about Jaycee’s old boss, that Morgan Reiss woman.
The Countess said she saw the countless spells woven into that woman, and that they are not subtle. They are almost all sexual, very ephemeral, and often contradict each other. They are the work of a faerie (according to their “taste,” she said), but probably not a very old one. She also said that she found traces of a similar “taste” on my human pet, which is great news! It means that that same faerie has interfered with Jaycee, and that I’m free to intervene.
It’s been a LONG time since I’ve used a spell on one of my sisters.
Attitude
Regular readers may recall that I left a
story thread untold a little over two months ago, right before the blog went on hiatus. I’d actually forgotten that I still owed you all that story, and it took an email from a reader for me to realize that. So, at last, here’s what happened.
To put things back in context: I was afflicted by a flirting curse from Attitude, and was just recovering from laryngitis. I was on my way to catch a movie when I ran into Brooke and Roseanne coming out of the theater.
Continue reading “Flirting With Brooke — The Untold Story”
Hey folks! I’m here again to ask for your help!
Ever since we stopped using Project Wonderful to advertised the site (back in January), the comic’s readership has gone somewhat stagnant. Readership doesn’t just matter because I enjoy interacting with everyone, but also because it increases traffic, and therefore advertisement-driven revenues. The more money I make, the closer I get to breaking even on the comic’s costs, and can even consider adding more content to the site.
So to help change this, I’m putting forth two initiatives that I hope you’ll take advantage of:
- Bloomin’ Friends! (link trades)
- FREE 1-month memberships
For the Bloomin’ Friends! initiative, it’s pretty simple: if you find a site with fair traffic to accept a hyperlink trade, we’ll link back from the “Bloomin’ Friends!” section in the left sidebar, right beside the blog. (Links will be listed in alphabetical order.)
For the free, 1-month memberships, we just want you to plug Bloomin’ Faeries!’s URL somewhere in an article or lengthy review on a website that has a strong readership. We’re pretty flexible on what that means. If you have a doubt,
ask me through EMAIL. And don’t worry, you can even tell me on which site you plan on putting the link, I won’t go ahead, do it on my own, and say “A-HA! Too late, I’ve already done it!” 🙂 I have a real interest in having people do this for real, and I don’t intend on “stealing” the plugs just to “save” giving out a membership.
So I hope you’ll jump in on the opportunity to get access to the site’s membership area, and just share with everyone how much fun you have reading Bloomin’ Faeries!
Thanks in advance for all your help!
–Jaycee
I’ve tried to be as much of a recluse as I could, considering the swelling issue I’ve been having, but it couldn’t last.
By the way, to those of you who emailed me, asking me why I was complaining, ask yourselves this: have you ever tried living a normal life with a blatantly obvious erection? I’m not talking about that little boner that hits you when you least expect it, and you just have to stay sitting for 10 minutes to wait it out. No, I’m talking about a monstrous beast that looks like you’ve stuffed a full salami between your thighs and that pushes up to get past your belt and tickle your belly button.
Continue reading “A Disproportionate Problem”
