A Tales of Two Nipples (or Four?)

Yesterday, I went to my favorite little cafe for lunch. The one where Lana works — that’s my favorite waitress, if you remember. She’s the one who had a wardrobe malfunction induced by Meghan’s Funcam. I hadn’t been there in a while and it was nice to chat her up again. She’s such a straightforward, normal, grounded girl! It’s nice to talk to someone real, sometimes…

Anyway, after paying the tab, I went to the bathroom, which isn’t far from the kitchen. There, I saw her talking with Cathy, another waitress I hadn’t seen a while because she was gone on mat leave. Cathy was actually visiting with her baby, showing the lil’ screaming tyke to Lana. Neither noticed I was there, which probably explains the conversation I overheard:

“Wow,” Lana said. “She’s got some lungs on her, that one.”

“Yeah,” Cathy said. “She gets like that when she’s hungry. And I’m kind of bursting, so we both know it’s time.”

Lana hesitated. “Is it painful? Breastfeeding, I mean.”

Cathy nodded. “Yes, for me, it is. I’ve always been kinda sensitive, and it’s not like the baby’s particularly delicate or careful when she bites. But I don’t really mind it, I think it brings us closer.”

Lana laughed. “Well, at least you feel SOMETHING. Me, I could rub ’em with sandpaper and I’d hardly notice.”

Cathy laughed along, good-naturedly. “We should trade, then. At least while I breastfeed. Then I want my nipples back!”

Lana pointed towards the staff room at the back of the restaurant. “If you need to feed her, maybe you can use the staff room. There’s no one using it right now.”

Both walked away from me. I was left alone, with a rather persistent image of Lana’s rather insensitive nipples.

I really don’t think we men are meant to hear these kinds of things…

–Jaycee